Grief is a natural response to losing our pets but the reality of losing a pet is far more difficult than we could anticipate. We feel empty, alone, guilty, and intense waves of emotion take us over. In these intense moments, we become so absorbed in the grief that we can forget about our self-care needs.
I have written this self-care checklist to help you stay on top of your overall well-being while dealing with the loss of your best friend and beloved pet family member.
When grieving the loss of a pet it is important to take care of our physical, emotional, mental state and spiritual well-being. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and let them out, crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it is healing. Also, try to get out for fresh air, do some gentle exercise, meditate, eat healthy food, and try to get to bed early.
1. Be compassionate with yourself
As animal lovers, we are known for our compassionate nature, but when it comes to losing our pets, that is not always the case. We become possessed by our negative mind chatter and criticism. Blaming and judging ourselves for not having done things differently or better.
2. Allow yourself to fully feel your emotions
Dealing with intense and overwhelming emotions can be very difficult. We try to suppress our feelings, pretend they are not there, or distract ourselves from having to feel them. There is no right or wrong way of feeling after losing your beloved pet. Whether you feel apathetic, sad, angry, depressed, guilty, confused, relieved, or happy that they are in a better place, honor your feelings.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions, even just a little. At first, it can feel unbearable, but as we surrender to the feelings, we find a calm place. The deeper we allow ourselves to feel, the closer we get to an inner calmness, and a feeling of love and peace.
3. Give yourself permission to cry
Crying is a normal part of self-care and healing so try not to judge yourself for it. According to the American Psychological Association, it is healthy for women to cry up to 64 times a year, which amounts to just over 5 times a month.
Crying is a normal part of grieving and it is the body’s natural response to reduce stress and relax. Avoid judging the experience, give yourself the freedom to cry when you feel to cry. Yes, it can feel overwhelming and uncomfortable but after a good cry, you will definitely feel better.
4. Infuse your home with fresh air and light
Don’t get too comfortable hibernating at home in the dark, it can hold us back and affect our mental state and cognitive abilities. Every morning, Open your windows and draw back the curtains to allow natural light and fresh air into your home. This simple gesture can brighten up the room and help us feel a little better.
5. Start a meditation routine
Regular meditation has many benefits for our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It reduces anxiety, calms our mind, and roots us into the present moment. Helping us take control of our mental chatter, and giving our body some time to relax and repair.
6. Talk about your feelings
Sharing your experience with others can feel like a weight off our shoulders. It helps us acknowledge our feelings and lets others know what we are going through. We benefit from unburdening our thoughts and sharing the pain within our broken hearts.
When opening up to others, make sure you talk to a compassionate friend who wholeheartedly listens to you and makes you feel safe and comfortable.
7. Play relaxing or uplifting music
Use music to uplift your mood and move you away from depressive, sad, or apathetic states. Play your favorite song and dance around the room. Don’t think about it, just get on your feet and move your body to the sound of the beat.
Allow the music to infuse your body with its healing power and connect with the aliveness within. Don’t worry about doing it right or wrong, simple take a couple of minutes to tune into the music and feel free.
8. Practice mindful breathing exercises
Practicing intentional and controlled breathing exercises can help us feel more relaxed, calm our invasive thoughts, and allow our bodies to rest. It is a quick and effective way to regain control of our well-being.
Taking slow deep breaths in through your nose and out of your mouth can instantly calm the nervous system and provide a little rest from the intense feelings.
9. Go outside and Get some fresh air
Get your daily dose of fresh air that oxygenates the brain which clears our foggy mind and improves our cognitive abilities. Start off with short regular walks around the block and then extend to other quiet areas.
Try picking a different route each time and allow yourself to be distracted by your environment. Focus on the details of the houses, the walls, the people passing by, or the color of the cars. This will keep your mind occupied and keep you present throughout the walk.
10. Eat tasty and nourishing meals
When we experience the loss of a pet, we lose our appetite and gravitate towards comfort foods. The idea of cooking a meal can stress us, or we may lack the energy and will to spend hours in the kitchen.
But there are a few things we can do, order healthier snacks, bite and nibbles. You could ask family for support, get take-outs, or subscribe to healthy meal delivery services such as Hello Fresh, Factor Meals, or Green Fresh. They deliver a variety of meals to tickle your tastebuds that are nutritional and affordable too.
11. keep up with basic hygiene
Maintaining a daily hygiene routine is another important part of self-care when dealing with the loss of a pet. It sounds obvious, but when we are depressed, anxious, and in a traumatic state we become indifferent to our hygiene needs. We may stop brushing our teeth, flossing, taking showers, brushing our hair, and doing the laundry, just to name a few.
Creating a daily self-care routine decreases stress levels and boosts our mood and emotions. Start by dedicating just 15 minutes a day to your self-care to help with your self-esteem and feel more like your old happier self.
12. Try gentle exercise
Keeping your body moving can do wonders for your body, mind, and soul. Go for a bike ride, join a yoga or pilates class, or try some basic stretching exercises at home. Choose whatever type of exercise you prefer and benefit from its relaxing effects.
13. Schedule time doing an activity you enjoy
Carve out time every day for an activity that brings you joy or happiness. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do, what is important is that you allocate time to uplifting your mood even if just a little. By gifting ourselves these moments we nurture our souls and honor our pet’s wishes for us to be happy.
You may choose to read books, bake a cake, get a massage, play golf, or spend time with your family or best friend. Whatever you choose, make sure you listen to your heart.
14. Take a salt bath
Indulge in a warm Epson Salt bath to sooth away your aching heart and reconnect with your body. It is one of the most enjoyable ways to reduce stress, improve sleep, improver circulation, and relive aches and pains.
15. Honour your needs, it is okay to say ‘no’
Communicate your needs to family and friends and be prepared to set boundaries. It is important to honor your needs and not get carried away by other people’s well-intentioned plans or ideas.
If you need alone time, thank them for their concern and let them know what you need. Reassure them, that you will reach out to them to take them up on their offer to go for lunch, a coffee, or a walk when you feel up to it. Clear communication is key.
16. Pamper yourself to a massage
Treat yourself to a relaxing massage and allow all the tension in your body to melt away. Getting regular massages is extremely beneficial for our health and can also release trapped emotions and trauma stored in the body.
But if you aren’t ready for a full body massage, you could get a manicure or pedicure, get your hair done, or book a healing session.
17. Avoid isolation
After losing a pet our daily routine gets disrupted, after all our lives revolve around them and vice versa. You may feel like you don’t fit in with your pet-loving friends and may stop going for walks because it is a constant reminder of your pet in heaven.
So, we stop going out for walks, we avoid social gatherings, we boycott all things pets, and become isolated at home. But although you want to hide away from the world, it will only prolong your pain.
18. Try to get plenty of sleep and rest
One of the top complaints experienced by pet parents who have lost their beloved friend is trouble sleeping. Insomnia can affect us at any point and lasts from days to weeks to years. So it is important to address it as soon as possible.
Creating a bedtime routine can help prime our bodies to fall asleep. This involves setting a bedtime hour, disconnecting from all electronic devices (at least two hours before bed), taking a warm shower or bath, using relaxing essential oils, and listening to relaxing music, to promote a healthy bedtime routine.
19. Start journalling
Although many people don’t like the idea of writing or journalling, it is a wonderful outlet to express your grief. You can just sit down with a piece of paper and pen and write whatever comes to your mind.
You can ask yourself questions about your feelings of guilt, sadness, anger, frustration, or how you can better support your healing process. Then allow your subconscious to lead the way and provide valuable insights to support your well-being.
20. Watch a funny movie or comedy show
Although the death of a loved one isn’t a laughing matter, we can all benefit from watching a comedy or listening to our favorite comedian. Laughter is one of the best medicines for a broken heart as it can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression too.
21. Become mindful of your triggers
Another necessary part of self-care is to be aware of our triggers. This could be triggered in the home, outdoors, with certain people, or around other pets that remind you of your loss.
Although we cannot eliminate all triggers we can limit the ones we are exposed to in a gradual manner. For example, having all your pets belonging around the house can act as triggers. So you might decide to store their belongings in a box out of sight until you are ready to reconnect with them and your pet in heaven.
22. Avoid consuming alcohol or drugs
Although consuming alcohol can feel like a short-lived relief from grief, it prolongs the suffering. Alcohol is a depressant that also impairs our ability to process our feelings and heal repressed emotions. Instead, speak to your medical health professional and also explore natural alternatives to help you process overwhelming emotions and feelings.
23. Find a grief buddy
Finding a grief companion or buddy is a wonderful form of self-care. You can chose one person to talk to on a regular basis to tell your story, share feelings and allow yourself to move forward.
Pet bereavement support is also available at The Blue Cross, Cats Protection, The British Horse Society’s and the World Horse Welfare.
24. Join a spiritual support group
Find a local spiritual support group in your areas. Spending time with like minded individuals and volunteering can help us out of our grief. Sometimes, talking to like-minded people can rekindle our connection to god, the divine, higher consciousness and our faith can help us through our pain.
25. Seek professional help
When we experience trauma, such as the loss of a pet our health can suffer. That is why it is important to look after our health as best as possible. If we experience any issues, we should seek advice from a health professional, such as GP, a Counsellor, or a beareauvement specialist. It is important to know that there is help out there, and we should not be afraid to ask for support.
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post and found it useful.
Which of the above self-care tips will you be adding to your life? Let me if there are any other self-care tips that helped you through the loss of a pet, leave a comment below.
I love hearing your ideas and experiences.