Connecting to the spirit world is a wonderful and self-gratifying experience. As mediums we are responsible for communicating messages for those wanting to connect with loved ones that have crossed over.
Some want to reminisce about the good times, many seek guidance and others simply want to know that their loved ones are safe. Whatever their need it is our responsibility to honour this gift and help our clients get the most out of their mediumship reading.
However, there are many things that can hinder the process. Therefore, as mediums it is our responsibility to manage the reading and communicate to facilitate the connection with the spirit world. This involves communicating to the sitter what you expect from them and why it is important for the success of the reading.
The medium wants to fully experience and witness their family member come through. But to do so we need to be assertive and prevent the prevent the sitter from taking control of the reading.
Ensuring the sitter sticks to a yes or no response is extremely and can take your mediumship to a whole new level.
So how can being assertive strengthen our communicator with the spirit world and be more valuable for the client?
So, let’s consider what problems can arise when mediums are not assertive and how to overcome these challenges.
1. Identifying the relationship
One of the most common problems that many new mediums face, is determining what the relationship is between the client and the spirit communicator. Although most of us can easily perceive parents, grandparents and uncles, other relationship such as mother-in-law, children and work acquaintance can be more challenging.
What many people will do under pressure is one of the following: try to guess, avoid naming the relationship, or take the sitters suggestions without question.
2. Avoid stating relationships
By not stating who the spirit communicator, in relationship to the client can make it difficult for them to identify the spirit communicator. This is because the client may know multiple people with the same hobbies, personality traits or jobs. In turn they may end up going back and forth between them and answer yes to statements while moving between two different people.
So get into the habit as early on as possible to state the relationship but sense if that person reminds you of anyone, and the kind of feelings that the spirit communicator feels toward the person.
But it is our job as mediums to narrow down the relationship to one person, so that the client can accurately respond yes or now to each statement.
3. Guessing relationships:
During a reading we should avoid guessing the relationship. Instead we should take the opportunity to more closely blend with the spirit communicator and feel into the experience.
- What does the relationship feel like?
- Does the communicator remind you of anyone you know?
- What s the quality of the person?
- Does the person feel like a friend or work colleague?
Take the opportunity to use your clairsentience abilities and train your self to more accurately distinguish between different relationship.
Note: Just because you have successfully guessed a relationship before does not mean that you will be right next time. As developing mediums we need to learn how to accurately sense relationships.
4. Taking on the sitter’s suggestion:
Another potential problem can arise when you take on the sitter’s suggestion about the relationship between them and the communicator. Although the sitter is trying to be helpful, we should not accept that they are right without checking.
Instead, we should try and feel for the relationship and sense if it is really them. If we simply go along with the client’s suggestion, and are wrong it can confuse the reading.
So even though the information you are bringing through is correct, they client will not understand in relation to who they have in mind.
If this does happen, relax and take your time to fully feel the communicator and identify the relationship.
5. Invalidating key information
The first thing that any medium does is blend with the spirit world and becomes one with the spirit communicator. Through the melding we can perceive details about the communicator’s personality and key information about their lives.
As we share these details with the sitter, we want them to simply say yes or no to each and every statement. This allows the medium to continue unravelling information packages impressed on us and confirm that the client understands the message.
But, if the clients elaborates on the topic they take away the opportunity to bring through meaningful details from the spirit communicator. This can then invalidate impression that have come through and cause us to search for other pieces of evidence.
This changes our dynamic from the passive receptor to the active search. In essence, losing the naturalness and flow of the communication. Often time this negatively affects communication and in my experience the spirit communicator may go quiet, decide to change the subject or disappear.
So, what can we do to prevent this from happening?
To prevent this from happening let the client know right from the start that they need to respond to each statement with a yes or no response. If this happens through the reading, be assertive. If the client is new to the experience, they may need to be reminded multiple times. Politely ask them to stick to the yes or no response and repeat until they get used to the dynamics.
Using humour and having a friendly interaction with the client can help them relax and makes the reading more enjoyable for everyone.
6. Blending process
Engaging in conversation with the client whilst you are sharing details from the spirit world can affect your ability to stay blended.
Whilst we are sharing details from the spirit person our attention is almost fully placed on them. But to partake in a conversation with the client we need to focus more on them and thus less on the spirit world.
As you attention shifts to the sitter, you are no longer fully blending, and it can be difficult to maintain the connection. Sometimes the connection can be lost and other times the connection is weakened. This is not what you nor the client want to experience.
Both of you want to remain in contact with the spirit world long enough to share and deliver messages from the other side. Therefore, to avoid weakening or prematurely ending the link, the medium must take control of the situation.
Tackling these issues as problem as soon as possible by asking the person to respond yes or no. Once you have done so move your attention to the sense of feeling. Either focus your attention on the heart centre or their solar plexus, blend and resume your communication.
7. State of mind.
So you started the reading and got distracted along the way. You noticed your focus shift to the sitter and you are no longer blending with the spirit world. You are now in your mind, feeling a little flustered and you can’t seem to blend.
The pressure is mounting, and you notice the client becoming impatient wanting you to quickly resume the contact. Well, this stressed, anxious or negative mindset inhibits your ability to get into the right state and raise your awareness instead you find yourself trapped in your thoughts telling yourself to hurry up.
Does this sound like you? If so, begin by acknowledge the situation and ask the sitter to bear with you while you attempt to reconnect with their spirit communicator. Then move your attention to the breath and intentionally try to slow down the breath. This should make you feel calmer and is a step in the right direction to help you blend with the spirit world. Start sensing the body, place your attention in the lower abdomen region and raise your power to the spirit world. Begin speaking once you are ready.
Note that you will not always be able to reconnect to the same individual. Allow these to come through and continue sharing messages from your clients’ loved ones.
8. Have confidence
Communicating with the spirit realm is a divine experience for the medium and the sitter. This gift can take time to fully develop and can be a struggle to master. An important aspect of developing your mediumship skills is to reflect on our mediumship and identify areas of improvement.
Many of us consider ways to improve our psychic abilities such as clairvoyance etc. But we forget about our soft skills and the importance of being assertive during the reading.
If we are unable to assertively ask the client to keep their answer short yes no answer, and refrain from engaging in conversation it will affect our mediumship, frustrate us and sever the connection with the spirit person which also affects our confidence.
We cannot allow our mediumship to suffer because we were not assertive enough.
Through honest reflection we can find solution and overcome obstacle holding us back. I often hear mediums placing the blame on the client.
But we cannot control another’s behaviour we can just adjust our actions and find new ways to handle each situation. Remember that we can learn from past situations and discover new ways of dealing with difficult situations.
This objectivity can be difficult at first, but as we find ways forward, we move away from blame and victimisation our confidence also improves.
9.Perfection is unattainable
On a final note, I want to remind you that there is no such thing as perfection. We must accept that even the best mediums don’t always get it right. And that’s ok! I can’t think of any profession where mistakes don’t happen. This is a notion we must accept and stop beating ourselves up when we don’t get it quite right.
And just like we reflect on our pitfall and areas of improvement we also need to consider those times we did great and the areas where we excel. Without looking at both two sides of the story we create a biased point of view.
A perception that is not a real reflection of our mediumship. If we are unable to do this with our mediumistic abilities, how can we expect to do so with our mediumship communication.
So, celebrate the good days and know that there will also be bad days too. The important thing is to remember why you became a medium and enjoy the process alongside your clients.
